Tsavo West National Park

We spend one night at the lovely Villa Rosa Kempinski in Nairobi and depart early the next morning. In our jet-lagged haze, Nairobi is a blur, though I recall eating popcorn and cheese late at night, with Jacob in our hotel room.

We take a 45-minute plane ride from Nairobi, with a pit stop at a wide open plain where zebras roam, and arrive at the airstrip by our home for two nights: Finch Hattons in Tsavo West National Park. Tsavo is acacia tree bushlands with a few distinct hills and plateaus, and black lava rock.

We have an exciting drive from the airstrip, with giraffes, zebras, and a troop of maybe 40 baboons; babies travelling on their mamas’ stomachs and backs.

We arrive at Finch Hattons.

Finch Hattons is built on a waterhole, with crocodiles floating by and hornbills swirling in the air. We’re shown to our “tents,” which have hardwood floors, Persian rugs, chandeliers and indoor and outdoor showers. If this is camping, I’m down.

The weary housekeeper sternly tells us to lock our doors, as the monkeys will open them if unlocked and wreck havoc. The naughty monkeys are everywhere, as are the signs “Don’t Feed the Monkeys!” I do yoga on our deck until the mischief makers, hidden in a nearby bush, growl like a big cat, scaring me into my tent.

We go on our first game drive with safari guide John Scorpio, who everyone calls Scorpio, and our driver Peter, who sounds like James Earl Jones. The zebras are everywhere. So is the elephant poop (“we call it land mines!” Peter jokes).

We spot groups of male wildebeest and are told that they arrive first and the female groups follow. “Boys club!” Peter shouts.

We also see our first elephants. And water bucks. A martial eagle sits proudly in a tree looking for a snack.

Peter drives us to a grassy spot for a sundowner where a full bar is set up and we meet Alvin, in traditional Maasai red and black garb. We drink gin and tonics while Team Lion (captained by Jacob) faces off against Team Elephant (captained by Leah) in a club throwing and archery throw down.

Then it’s back to Finch Hattons for a three course dinner and bed. LOTS of animal noises at night: hippos, baboons, monkeys, unidentifiable munching.

We get into our new routine: Game drives at 6:30 am and 4 pm and exercise and eating in between. Meals are uniformly great but huge. The boys start declining food and I eat more to politely compensate. Zebras are everywhere in Tsavo. “Zebers” Peter will note and we nod. We encounter antelope of all types (Oryx, bucks, dik diks, gazelle). We see spotted and striped hyenas and jackals, giraffes, baboons and elephants.

We learn from Scorpio that giraffes are bad mothers, leaving their babies alone and going far away. Peter floats an alternative: mother giraffes leave their babies because when they’re alone they look like adults but when their mothers stand next to them, predators can tell that they’re juveniles and attack. Jacob floats a third: maybe they’re just stupid.

We visit Mzima Springs and catch glimpses of hippos and crocs but overall think it’s not worth the long drive.

A highlight on our final day in Tsavo is an uphill hike to get a view of the plains below and Mount Kilimanjaro in the distance. Despite our inappropriate shoes we survive.

After a second night in Tsavo, we are ready to leave for Laikipia and the Loisaba Conservancy. We say our goodbyes to Peter, a terrific guide whose voice we will always remember. “Watabuck!” the boys start repeating in a bass tone with a Kenyan accent.